She's trying to make it back to Narcissus before she collapses again, but it seems their habit of meeting at the most awkward times in the most awkward moments will persist.
He likely catches her halfway through the gardens on the way to the villa.]
Better make it quick. [Her voice sounds somewhat flat.]
[It sounds reasonable, so she begins to walk again, her steps a little tender but otherwise composed. Exerting herself at the end of the trial and smoke inhalation must have been a lot. Even Andrew thinks that at the seven-day mark, she wouldn't have been quite so winded trying to run.]
[ Blade was kind of wondering if all that would have certainly exacerbated her condition by far. Which, he wouldn't be surprised if it had, considering the elements - both with the smoke inhalation and everything that happened at trial. ]
Good enough, for now.
Even if it may change later. [ ... ] I wonder how many times we were all at each other's throats and don't remember it.
Are we a likable bunch? [They are not. Casting herself as the villain isn't all that unexpected... though in her selfishness, it's difficult for Andrew to see herself as anything but in the right.
Except this time. The recoil of wounded pride from her failure is heavy on the scales with regret.]
Probably at least a few. I've survived this long, but there are other ways to hurt someone.
[ Maybe some of them are; Blade isn't going to lump everyone in the same category as himself, or even Andrew. A part of him that has a sense of distorted fairness is still somewhat present. ]
...There are.
Some ways even worse than death itself.
ddddeath ideation.....might get deeper so warning ahead of time
[She's like Blade in that regard, too - Andrew can't see herself in a cohort with many of the others trapped in this loop. It's always been difficult for her; now is no exception.
Her frown deepens. A fate worse than death... being trampled on and denied every bit of yourself until your very last breath.]
I've had to consider such things. Is this place worse than death for you?
[It seems poor for his health, albeit in a different way than hers.]
[ That is where they are apparently aligned - it's hard in some ways, but easier in the rest. Though he knows he is difficult to get along with. And doesn't care (his life doesn't matter to him, so why should he?) ]
In some ways.
You're forced to speak to people and entrapped in a place that has no guarantee of doing anything else but mentally torture you. And then physically torture you.
I thought I'd been driven to madness by now. But, I haven't.
That might be worse, being trapped between the door and the wall like that - cornered and yet never able to escape out into the visible exit. She hugs herself as they walk, looking a little young.]
Sometimes, I feel like I'm losing my mind. [She knows that, back where she comes from, there have been whispers about her stability. Even Herta finds her new behaviors weird, even though she feels freer than she ever has in her entire life.] Everything is so strange, and I feel like I'm alone up against a force I've never met.
[Being forced into interactions has been taxing, and people have treated her in a way that "Princess" Grace, aloof and cold and uninterested in others, had never experienced. It's almost better that they surely loathe her now.]
Anyway, Blade's definitely got some problems - these that sometimes do eat at him by the virtue of their inconsistent nature. But, it is something to consider nonetheless. ]
...Like that.
I've known this force for centuries. It's a part of me.
[ To be marastruck for so long means that he has 'met' it consistently. In a way, it's his own mind, but it also simultaneously feels like something different. As if he changes in some way when he's under its influence. Something...different from the others, but he can't explain it. It's simply maddening. ]
But, some part of it feels unknown. Maybe the fact that I can return to myself at all. That it seems like I have control, when I don't.
Much like our situation, isn't it? We have control over our daily lives to a point...but other things, we don't.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 2, post-trial
Blade will try to catch her once she leaves the trial room. Maybe out in the gardens, or whathaveyou. ]
...Andrew.
[ He looks to see how she appears; how she is doing, after all of that. ]
no subject
She's trying to make it back to Narcissus before she collapses again, but it seems their habit of meeting at the most awkward times in the most awkward moments will persist.
He likely catches her halfway through the gardens on the way to the villa.]
Better make it quick. [Her voice sounds somewhat flat.]
no subject
...We'll talk on the way there.
[ He searches for a question that sounds reasonable. ]
Has anyone else tried to do anything after that?
[ Blade launches into his question immediately because he's bad at emotional aspects, but he will continue to slow walk. ]
no subject
... No. No one's done anything.
no subject
Good enough, for now.
Even if it may change later. [ ... ] I wonder how many times we were all at each other's throats and don't remember it.
no subject
Except this time. The recoil of wounded pride from her failure is heavy on the scales with regret.]
Probably at least a few. I've survived this long, but there are other ways to hurt someone.
no subject
[ Maybe some of them are; Blade isn't going to lump everyone in the same category as himself, or even Andrew. A part of him that has a sense of distorted fairness is still somewhat present. ]
...There are.
Some ways even worse than death itself.
ddddeath ideation.....might get deeper so warning ahead of time
Her frown deepens. A fate worse than death... being trampled on and denied every bit of yourself until your very last breath.]
I've had to consider such things. Is this place worse than death for you?
[It seems poor for his health, albeit in a different way than hers.]
here we go owo cw: the same
In some ways.
You're forced to speak to people and entrapped in a place that has no guarantee of doing anything else but mentally torture you. And then physically torture you.
I thought I'd been driven to madness by now. But, I haven't.
no subject
That might be worse, being trapped between the door and the wall like that - cornered and yet never able to escape out into the visible exit. She hugs herself as they walk, looking a little young.]
Sometimes, I feel like I'm losing my mind. [She knows that, back where she comes from, there have been whispers about her stability. Even Herta finds her new behaviors weird, even though she feels freer than she ever has in her entire life.] Everything is so strange, and I feel like I'm alone up against a force I've never met.
[Being forced into interactions has been taxing, and people have treated her in a way that "Princess" Grace, aloof and cold and uninterested in others, had never experienced. It's almost better that they surely loathe her now.]
Is that how it is for you?
no subject
Anyway, Blade's definitely got some problems - these that sometimes do eat at him by the virtue of their inconsistent nature. But, it is something to consider nonetheless. ]
...Like that.
I've known this force for centuries. It's a part of me.
[ To be marastruck for so long means that he has 'met' it consistently. In a way, it's his own mind, but it also simultaneously feels like something different. As if he changes in some way when he's under its influence. Something...different from the others, but he can't explain it. It's simply maddening. ]
But, some part of it feels unknown. Maybe the fact that I can return to myself at all. That it seems like I have control, when I don't.
Much like our situation, isn't it? We have control over our daily lives to a point...but other things, we don't.